Leaving Religion for a Relationship with Christ

I grew up in a strong legalistic atmosphere and made a profession of faith when I was a young child. I was convinced for almost 30 years that I was saved. In June 2018, we left legalism and started attending a new church. In July 2019, I had some past deep scars resurface. I had a counseling session in August 2019 with my pastor and his wife. My pastor asked me a specific question, which caused me to reflect back on my childhood salvation experience. This began a 10 day quest of searching intently for answers, trying to figure out if I was a believer or not.

The morning of August 29th, I read some of the book “Leaving Legalism”. She mentioned the song “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us” and the line, “It was my sin that held Him there.” I bristled up at that thought. I didn’t believe that I was THAT bad that MY sin was what held Him there. I expected God to be pleased with me for following some man-made rules of what a Christian should “look” like. Then I read Ephesians 2:8-9. I had believed that verse all my life, but the Lord opened my eyes to its truth. Two other verses that stood out to me were Romans 9:16 and Romans 11:6. After I thought over those verses, I told the Lord that I accepted His free gift alone to get me into heaven and that my works were worthless to get me His pleasure.

There is a line in the song “Scars” that says, “I’m thankful for the scars, cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart.” Without the scars in my past and starting to work that hurt, I wouldn’t have seen that I wasn’t saved. I am not only thankful for my scars. I’m thankful for HIS scars that He received when He died on the cross for my sin, cause without THEM I wouldn’t know HIM!


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