19 May Infertility Grew Our Marriage, Faith and Family

My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years and having kids was always part of our dream. Over 4 years ago we graduated college and we excitedly decided to start our family. But… (why did there have to be a “but”?!)

Infertility rocked our world, our faith and our marriage. We were not in control the way we thought we were. We could do all the “right” things and still couldn’t make a baby no matter how hard we tried. It was over 4 years of watching so many of our friends and family start and grow their families, while we couldn’t understand why we were stuck. While I was undergoing treatments, surgeries, medical procedures, injections, medications, you name it, I was also wondering if I would ever be able to experience pregnancy. It hurt, emotionally, physically and financially.

James 1:2-4 says “when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” Sometimes I hated that verse. How was I supposed to find joy? Did I really want to be that strong anyway? What was God’s plan for our lives and did we really trust Him? Also, in a recent message from our pastor he said “Tests squeeze us and whatever comes out reveals who we really are and what we really believe.” And what came out of me was jealousy, anger, bitterness, and many other not so pretty things.

But… (now comes the good “but”) we grew in our faith, as painful as that growth can be, because what happened to us wasn’t nearly as important as what happened in us. We grew in our marriage because we had no choice but to double up on the love and support we had for each other. And we grew in our family because God provided IVF as the path for having our now 18 month old son.

Thank you Moms in the Making for letting me be a part of a group that is faith-based and positive, as opposed to the all too easy negative “woe is me” circles.