15 Aug I Finally Surrendered My Jealousy To The Lord
My husband and I began trying for a baby as soon as we got married. A little bit about me – I work with my parents at a home they found 40 years ago. This home is for moms who have decided they want to keep their baby and not have an abortion. Thousands of lives have been saved and I’m so blessed to be a part of a ministry that values life in the womb just like Moms in the Making does! But being around all of these babies was a struggle for me.
I had 2 doctors tell me it was impossible to get pregnant. I would blame myself thinking, “this is my fault, my past has made me infertile”, but infertile is a word that I did not speak! In my time with God, I wanted to have a devotional for this journey and I was specific about finding a devotional that didn’t have “infertility” in it as I didn’t want to associate with that word! And there it was, “In Due Time” written by Caroline Harries. Not only was it the perfect title but it restored my hope in Christ!
Through that, I discovered Moms in the Making and I got connected to my local group. I had such a wonderful experience of fellowship and encouragement with my leader, Cristina! I still struggled with jealousy and I told God, “if I am to work around babies, how can I keep doing this when it hurts?”, and I felt God tell me in my heart, “I need to learn celebrate others”. The Moms in the Making Bible study on celebrating others’ victories really hit me and I finally surrendered that jealousy to the Lord.
At the clinic where we give ultrasounds to show moms their precious babies, the very place where I struggled to understand God’s plan for me, was where my miracle was discovered and I found out I was pregnant! I thank God for His mercy and I thank Him for Moms in the Making. I always tell women who are in their season of waiting to stop struggling quietly! God doesn’t want us to struggle alone. He’s given us the gift of community and I truly believe in the power of corporate prayer!
My son Elijah was born on January 22, 2023 and is our daily reminder to us of God’s grace!