28 Mar I Finally Forgave Myself
I want to give God ALL the glory for every bit of goodness I experienced recently at the Moms in the Making Leaders Retreat!
I joined 60+ women at the top of the mountain to worship God, to give praise for what He’s done & will do, to claim victory in areas of our lives that we haven’t seen it yet, to lay down burdens at Jesus’ feet that we weren’t meant to carry, and to welcome Holy Spirit into our presence, our lives, and our hearts.
I love so many wonderful things about this ministry, but my favorite has to be that the focus is NOT on getting the baby, it’s NOT on the struggle of infertility, it’s NOT the healing…. it’s on the HEALER!!
The focus is on digging our roots deeper into His Word and cultivating our relationship with Him, so that no matter what may come our way we can stand firmly on the Solid Rock of Christ Jesus!!
Friday night of the retreat I asked the Lord what He wanted to show me. His answer shocked me!
I had no idea that for 13 years I had been walking around shaming myself, telling myself I was unworthy, and not truly loving me because of choices God had already forgiven me for.
And then… I finally forgave myself for harming myself and attempting suicide three times (13 yrs ago). That night I slept so peacefully. I breathed differently, too.
I know I haven’t physically changed on the outside, but my eyes see myself differently. I’ve always been critical of myself in photos. This weekend I loved every photo! Not because I look different, but because I am different!
To anyone who sowed into our retreat weekend — whether financially, prayerfully, or in any other capacity, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Not only have you sown blessings into 60+ women who were physically at this retreat, but you’ve also sown into the multiple of women & families who we will now be impacted from hearing their testimonies. For that, I am so grateful & thankful!