28 Nov I Am Now Whole and Healed
Over the last several months, I have been struggling a lot with negative self thoughts, always beating myself up, never feeling like I was good enough personally, professionally or spiritually in any way. I felt like I had to strive for love from God and even my husband. I knew these thoughts were lies, which then made me feel crazy for thinking them! Because I was believing the lies, it also made me feel like a failure to God.
It even crept into my marriage and I was suspicious of my husband (bless his heart). It robbed me of my joy and my peace. At the Moms in the Making conference, the groundwork for healing was laid. I was prayed for and I felt somewhat refreshed. But something was still missing.
Today, I listened to episode 197 of the A Cup Full of Hope Podcast where Caroline interviewed Ruth Moore. Her words were so full of wisdom and life and really resonated with me. She described how she felt like she had to strive for God’s love, just like me. She said she did an exercise at a school at Bethel, where she asked Holy Spirit to reveal what lies she believed about herself and about God. Then she went on stage and declared the opposite truths to those lies.
I had done this before, about 7 years ago, but boy, had those lies piled up again! I did the exercise myself, writing out the lies and then wrote the truths on the following page. I didn’t think there would be so much power and healing in acknowledging those lies, repenting for them and replacing them with the truth! But it feels like it completely changed me, like a 1,000 lb weight has been lifted off of me! I now feel whole and healed, which is the declaration I wrote down and pinned on the wall at conference!! God is so good!!