I flew to Tennessee from the Netherlands for the 2025 Leaders Retreat in March. I went with an open heart and mind. I didn’t have a specific prayer, I simply wanted to absorb everything.
During one of the sessions, there was an announcement about baptisms, and a few girls signed up. A conversation followed, explaining that some people choose to be baptized more than once—especially if they were baptized as a baby, had never been fully immersed, or wanted to rededicate their life to Christ.
I was baptized when I was 16, so I didn’t think much of it. Later, just before the baptisms began, another girl said she felt someone still needed to be baptized. I thought to myself, that’s not me—I’ve already been baptized.
But as I sat by the pool, watching two girls get baptized, I suddenly started to hyperventilate and cry. I felt God calling me to step in, but I was frozen. I tapped Beth, who was nearby, and through my tears I simply nodded. She looked at me and gently asked if I wanted to be baptized. I said yes. In that moment, the anxiety left, and something shifted deep inside me.
Yes, I had already been baptized, but this time was different. Memories of sin, shame, and past mistakes flooded my mind. I knew God had forgiven me, but I realized I hadn’t fully forgiven myself.
So I got in the water and was baptized. I came out feeling renewed.
I recommitted my life to the Lord and declared that I want Him above everything else, even above the baby I’ve been longing for.
Since joining Moms in the Making, I have seen God move in powerful ways. And now, I’ve found true peace.