Over the past year, God has done what I can only describe as heart surgery on me. I entered this season feeling lost and uncertain—after stepping away from acting after 10 years, and making a Holy Spirit-led move from LA to Florida, I didn’t know what God was doing with my life. At the same time, I was navigating infertility and carrying fear, disappointment, comparison, and unforgiveness. I was striving constantly, trying to control outcomes, and completely burnt out.
Then suddenly, God told me He was going to heal me. I assumed He meant physically and that I would quickly become pregnant. But instead, He began somewhere deeper: my heart. Over time, He gently brought up wounds, lies, and past pain, and He met me there with His love. He began to free me from the things keeping me in bondage, renewing my mind and teaching me how to live from a place of surrender instead of striving.
As He healed me internally, my faith for physical healing grew. A turning point came when I chose to seek God before making medical decisions. He led me to take three months off from treatments and testing to simply rest in Him. At the end of those three months, He spoke clearly: “You are healed.” Months later, I underwent surgery, and despite a previous diagnosis of endometriosis, there was no evidence of it. God used that process to confirm His healing and restore my body in ways I couldn’t have orchestrated.
But the greatest miracle wasn’t just physical healing—it was the peace He gave me. During prayer at a MITM leader retreat, I asked God what He wanted to give me, and I heard, “My peace.” As we were in His presence, His peace filled my entire body in a way I had never experienced before. It felt like a massive muscle relaxer in the spirit—my whole being was completely at rest. After years of anxiety, striving, and trying everything to manage stress, including acupuncture, supplements, saunas, and alcohol, nothing compared to the tangible peace of God I experienced. I felt like He healed my nervous system and taught me what it truly means to rest in Him.
Today, while I’m still walking through uncertainty in both my fertility and career, everything has changed. I no longer feel the need to strive or control. I’ve learned that healing, peace, and everything I need is found in Jesus alone. If you are walking this road, know this: you don’t have to strive—God is inviting you to rest. He is faithful to heal completely, and His peace carries you even before the promise is fulfilled.