In 2019, I didn’t know what infertility was. At that point, I had been married for 10 years and had never conceived. I remember wondering what I was missing in my Christian walk that would warrant God deciding I couldn’t do what Scripture said to do: “Be fruitful and multiply…”
While I’m sure I had encountered other struggling women, I hadn’t been introduced to that part of their lives. It wasn’t something to be talked about in public, but something to be discussed only with the Lord. But all I knew to ask Him was, “Why won’t You let me do this?” I searched, “Why can’t I get pregnant?” and I was flooded with symptoms, abbreviations, diagnoses, tragedies—a lot of vocabulary words. I was overwhelmed, and then confused by the significant lack of representation for women of color. “Is it that uncommon for women of color to have this? God, what is so wrong with me? I’m a good person. I serve and tithe. How did I get chosen to be an anomaly?”
One Sunday, a church sister and dear friend caught me in my tears during a baby dedication. She mentioned that she knew someone who had a similar struggle and had connected with a Christian support group. I joined a Moms in the Making group, and the Lord immediately answered one of my questions: I wasn’t an anomaly. And I wasn’t chosen to suffer—I was chosen to represent.
I came to Moms in the Making ignorant of my rights as a daughter of God, blaming Him for something He didn’t do, and believing the lie that I had to keep all of this to myself. But He redeemed my heart and helped me understand this journey. I don’t cry every month anymore. I have freedom in my soul.
Moms in the Making has been informative in the natural and restorative in the Spirit. As much as I know I’m not alone, I also know that another woman of color is crying in secret—ashamed or afraid to speak outside of her prayer closet. I hope she gets to read this testimony: Moms in the Making is here for you, too.